Top Five Tau Threads
Top Five non-Tau Topics this Month
Crazed has been a member of Tau Online since November 04, making him a veteran of sorts! He's a board mod of the Eldar board, and the 40k Universe board.
(Q) What attracted you to this site and how have you found it so far?
A: Current staff member .Mace (whose my friend in real life) attracted me to this site through his feminine wiles. However once I came I found the site to be a small and snug community (rather than the dauntingly big Eldar Online) so I thought I might stay a while.
(Q) Which armies do you collect, how big are they and how long has it taken to accumulate them?
A: I mainly collect Eldar, their current size lies at around 5000 points and it's taken my 8 years in all. But note that I essentially had a 5 year break in the middle. I take this hobby slow I guess...or, more accurately, I take it fast for short amounts of time and then neglect it for years on end.
(Q) Any advice for the rest of the community?
A: As for advice, I would say, make this game your own. Don't take other's army lists or copy another person's strats down the the last detail. Don't focus and put too much in store for list building and tweaking. At the end of the day, I trust a good sensible on your feet and tactically flexible mind more than all the tacticas and list fine tuning in the world.
(Q) If you could tell someone one thing about 40k that would convince them to start, what would it be?
A: "Ever wondered what reading the Simarilion whilst tripping acid would be like? But worried that the Simarilion, at a mere 12,000 pages, just isn't time consuming enough, and that acid, at a mere $200 per hit is just insultingly cheap?"
(Q) How do you feel about the latest Eldar codex?
A: Good, it returns the Eldar back to their core ethos. Whilst I disliked the tweaking of many unique special rules in an attempt to simplify the game (ie. acrobatic on the Banshee Exarch), it made the Eldar a mobile, aspect warrior heavy army again. Not like back in late 3rd ed. where everybody and their mum was packing a starcannon heavy black guardian reliant Ulthwe force.
(Q) If you were going to be stuck on a deserted island and could bring only one thing, what would it be?
A: A hot air balloon.....or a crown, sceptre and a cape so I can proclaim myself king.....yeah you know what? Forget the hot air balloon, I don't need to face reality again when I'm king of a deserted island.
(Q) Have you played Apocalypse yet? What is your opinion on it?
A: Apocalypse is simultaneously a step in both the right and the wrong direction for 40k. On one hand, it's about having fun. And that's what the hobby should be about. On the other hand, it's about spending money on new releases to have fun. Choose the vortex template, choose big terrain sets, choose the bulk deals with the additional 20% discount and +3 strategic asset formation, choose the big gun dice, choose watching fifteen year old kids shrug away two months later, at the end of it all, selling it all for stupidly low prices on Ebay to empty up the hobby and make time for whatever it is 15 year olds do, choose Apocalypse (c), choose life.
(Now imagine I said that with an insufferable smirk and a scottish accent ala Ewan Mcgregor in Trainspotting)
(Q) How do you feel about allegations from the Mediocre Mods that you have "sold out"?
A: Nonsense, you can't be fooled by the lots that I got, I'm still I'm still Jenny from the bloc.
On unrelated notes, next year I'm going to start my own clothing line "Jean Sohn", as well as run in the Olympic torch relay, star in a couple of Broadway musicals, do ads for Gillette Shavers, become a political affiliate with an aptly named "Vote and/or Die" campaign (the and is in case you vote Republican), and lastly express my interest in being the first African American James Bond.
(Q) What is your favorite 40K tactic?
A: Repeated blitzes on different sections of the enemy line with small non money units and then redeploying rapidly before they can react. A big part of the plan lies in accepting some losses (contrary to other Eldar/Dark Eldar players) and making good use of second rate reserves (of which I have plenty of due to my refusal of relying on money units). Another important factor in the plan comes obviously from trying to mislead your enemy into deploying/redeploying his units with some feints and such.
Of course this means my worst enemy is the stoic and unmoveable refused flank marines and any armies specializing in victory point denial. (Eg. the forum's local global mod Mace's mech-tau gives my army a headache as his firewarriors spends the entire game staring at the insides of a devilfish whilst touring the sights of the board)
Actually sometimes a tactically inflexible minded opponent who just happens to have the counter to my army gives me a great obstacle.
(Q) Do you ever get tired of being awesome?
A: Okay, do you know what it's like actually having to deal with walking out into the street and all of sudden, for no apparent reason, people begin crowding around you, asking for an autograph, as you're ushered into a waiting limo whilst crowd of 20-something year old women press their boobs against the window shrilling, demanding that you bear their seed now? You put on your Versace shades and give a curt nod to your driver, a young lively jive talking black man, who drives off whilst making subtly mood elating small talk, before you arrive at the playboy mansion, and Hugh Heffner comes out, greet you like you're his favourite nephew, tells you that QT's crew has just thrown the gauntlet down and drags you in by the arm so you two can play two on two table soccer against Tarantino and Samuel L mother-effin Jackson whilst sipping Krystal champagne and snacking on lobster-tail sandwiches?
Because if you know what it feels like to have to deal with that every week, please tell me so I can fantasize about it whilst working part time kitchenhand jobs before returning to my one bedroom ghetto apartment with no access to hot water and watching reruns of I Dream of Genie, whilst eating stale pizza in my underwear, before crying myself to sleep.
(Q) If you could live in any country other than where you currently live, where would it be and why?
A: Canada, more specifically, French Canada. I hear the people there have the sexy refined sophistication of the Canadians coupled with the relaxed good natured modesty of the French.
Rain poured off the towering form of the Eldar Wraithlord, its white and blue armour giving the strange alien construct a ghost-like appearance in the fog. As it stalked forwards towards the lines of Guardsmen, lasfire erupted as the alien sentinel stalked ever closer. Their firepower was futile, though Caltox from behind the Danitun Guard lines, and already he could see the marshalling shouts of Dragoon Knights strutting being the Guard lines, dissuading any potential routers from fleeing before the sight of the armoured behemoth.
"We will hold off the Eldar attack!" snarled a Guardsmen near Caltox, and the seasoned veteran ignored the human's callous statement. Snarling in satisfaction as Guardsmen were torn apart by the powerful fists as they tried in vain to stop the alien walker with thrusts from their bayonets.
"Prove your worth, mortal" sneered Caltox to a Guardsmen nearby, his heavier armour and more powerful weaponry marking him out as a Dragoon Master, a rank the equivalent of a Colonel in regular Guard formations.
Caltox could tell the human loathed to be ordered by him, and he flexed his armoured gauntlets in antipation of a sharp reply from the human. None came. After a minute's pause, the Dragoon Master surged forwards towards the bloody scene created by the Eldar construct.
These Eldar were cunning bastards, thought Caltox as he watched the Dragoon Master join the fray, and was scored by hundreds of razorsharp discs issued from under-slung shuriken catapults, but such was the artifice of the armour the Master wore that none-penetrated.
He watched the human dodge nimbly the powerful thrusts and punches from the wraithlord as it tried to rid itself of the rapidly gathering of Guardsmen pressing in from each side, the sheer weight of numbers more then it could deal with.
A smile cracked across the Khorne Champion's lips as the Master punched the legs of the Wraithlord repeatedly, causing only surface wounds with his cackling power fist.
"Why haven't they committed their forces yet?" asked a warrior over Caltox' shoulder, and for once, Caltox was surprised at the voice. It was clearly femine, but held notes of seductive beauty to it.
"Because they're cunning bastards" snarled Caltox as he watched the leg give way beneath the Wraithlord at last. Despite the fact it was now laying face down in the muddy earth, surrounded by a press of bodies, Caltox admired its spirit as it continued to thrash, it's powerful limbs killing humans by the score with each swing.
"Aren't you going to help these mortals?" came the voice again, this time with a tinge of playfulness to it. Turning to face the source of the voice, Caltox caught sight of Canoness Gemiel. A well built and toned warrior stood beside him, her face powdered white with a purple eye liner and jet black hair flowing down her broad shoulders. She wore a suit of ornately crafted, deep purple power armour, with gold detailing and a tabard of deep grey fading to black. Resting upon her back and hunched over her shoulders were the buky yet elegantly curved jump pack and Caltox could feel the malice in her very being. It was as if something eternally dangerous was being contained just beneath the surface, and only held in check by a veneer of self-control.
"I'll attack when the Eldar commit themselves" Caltox replied, letting his gaze drift back towards the battle with the Wraithlord.
He could see that the Wraithlord was still thrashing around, lopping off limbs with its shimmering gauntlets, and he couldn't help but feel the urge to kill build up in Foebane, Caltox's mount as a shadowy form appeared in the distant fog. Another shadow appeared beside the first, then another and another…