Top Five Tau Threads
Top Five non-Tau Topics this Month
ToastMaster has been a member of Tau Online for almost 1.5 years now, and in that time has quickly built up a reputation for his love of toast :-P ToastMaster frequents The Enclave and the Tau boards, and is also a member of the Competition Committee.
(Q) What attracted you to this site and how have you found it so far?
A: I was looking for a 40k forum at the time I spotted Tau Online. And, as the first word in the site's name was "Tau", and since I play Tau, I knew that there'd be a lot of experienced Tau players there. And Tau Online has really grown on me. I've been on the forums for a little over a year, and I've really liked my time here. I can't get enough.
(Q) Which armies do you collect, how big are they and how long has it taken to accumulate them?
A: So far I've collected 2000 pts of Tau, 1000 pts of Dark Eldar, and 500 points of Witch Hunters/Daemon Hunters (can be either). However, I'm selling my Dark Eldar (from loss of interest). They're in the Trading Board right now, actually. As for how long it's taken me to get these.... the Tau are at about 1 1/2 years, Dark Eldar at about 8 months, and I've only been playing Witch Hunters for about 4 months.
(Q) Any advice for the rest of the community?
A: Yes...... take time on your posts! This forum is not a chat room! You don't have a timer, and you're not expected to type ultra-fast. You've got a lot of time to post your stuff, and you should use that to get it looking good. That not only gives you a better profile, but helps other members by allowing us to actually read your posts.
(Q) What prompted you to change from Dark Eldar to Sisters Of Battle? Do you have a thing for gals in armour?
A: Yes I do. I DO have a thing for gals in armour XD. But seriously, I just kinda lost interest in my Dark Eldar. I wasn't playing with them, and began to not like how they looked, so I searched for another army that I liked. I looked through all the army pages on the GamesWorkshop website, and eventually came to the Hunters. I knew they could be molded into one army, and I loved the look of both Sisters and Grey Knights, so I started them.
(Q) What's the story/stories behind your Karma pool (you have both a lot of positive and some negative cookies)?
A: Well, when I first came to TO, I spammed a lot. A LOT. Enough to get five negative karmas within 8 months or so. However, from there I stopped being a bad poster, and went towards helping people out, and got a lot of karma for my posts and tacticas.
(Q) What would you do if GW released a Toast army? Would you quit SoB to collect your very own force of Toasties with crumpets for heavy support?
A: I would probably say 'no' to that. If they came out with a Toast army I'd just play them, as I don't necessarily have to quit one army to play another.
(Q) Which member on the forums would you say has influenced your time here the most?
A: Alcibiates. Followed by Mal. Alcibiates was the person to tell me off for how badly I used to post, and I admire the fact that he can end sentences without using periods. >_> As for Mal.... I've tried to base my posts off of his for a VERY long time. Eventually I just got tired of that kind of thing and went my own way in terms of posting, but he did make my posts look really nice for about 5 months.
(Q) I heard once that there was a guy who followed you around and asked an annoying number of questions about toast, then you snapped and destroyed him with ungodly Toast-riffic powers. Is this true? Do you really have Toast-riffic powers?
A: Yes. That I do. Toast-riffic. I, naturally, have ungodly command over all toast entities in the universe (ToastMaster), I can cook toast without a toaster, and I've recently attempted to fly using a piece of toast as a magic carpet. It worked. I'm gonna save so much money on plane tickets....
(Q) What did you first ever painted model look like?
A: Bad. Let's leave it at that.
(Q) What's your favourite topping for toast, both savoury and sweet?
A: I love butter on my toast. It's my favourite topping for toast. I also like Grape Jelly, and cinnamon on my toast. I'm also very good at making french toast, and it's my breakfast food of choice on weekends.
(Q) How did you get into 40k?
A: My friends got me into it. At first I saw my friends playing 40k and I was like "NERDS!!!!!!", but then eventually I turned to the dark side and started playing it. I had to admit that the races, and the settings were really cool.
- Tau Online
Fluff: 'tis the season (Part 2) by Wargamer
This is the second part to a multi-part story. Last month's newsletter issue (issue #25) featured the first part.
Grinning like a jolly god of death, the Steam Gargant came onwards, it guns bringing death and carnage down upon the Tau and their allies.
"I have a plan," Ui'Ukos said, watching the machine grind forwards on its wide, heavy tracks. Rising from cover, he began to run, charging headlong at the beast. The Shas'vesa gave a cry, but it was whipped away by the blizzard. Gunshots rang out, and Ui'Ukos felt the air ripple as bullets missed him by the narrowest of margains. He should have died, by rights he should have been torn apart by now, but fate was with him. He reached the underside of the machine, and gunned down the Orks marching beneath.
Here, standing between the tracks, the very earth shook with the weight of the thing's movement. Ui'Ukos spotted an access-hatch, a doorway just above one of the titanic axles, and there was a rickety, swinging ladder attached. He reached it with a running jump, and climbed into the Gargant itself.
Gretchin squeaked and cried in panic at his arrival, only to be silenced by his Pulse Rifle. The interior was no better than the outside; a madman's dream of pipes, shells and steam. The sound of his weapon had been lost in the background noise of the Gargant's operation, which was so loud as to be painful. He looked around, hoping to find something vital, something he could sabotage.
He found a door, and struggled to read the crude scrawlings made upon it. "BOILA ROOM. KEEP OUTZ YA GITZ!" It sounded promising.
Kicking open the door, Ui'Ukos levelled his weapon and fired, blasting an Ork off his feet, and splattering three Grots across the wall. From out of his vision, a Mekboy appeared, slicing the gun in half with a vicious swing. Rolling forwards, Ui'Ukos kicked out at the Ork, and took his feet out, causing him to fall and headbutt one of the pipes, which burst. The Mek cried out as brown liquid covered him, and was ignited by some stray spark. In a hearbeat, the room had become an inferno.
Salvaging the Ork's weapon, Ui'Ukos had no choice but to head deeper into the Boiler Room. Four massive furnaces, stoked by the foul-smelling fuel, stood hissing before him, kept on the favourable side of terminal meltdown by an army of frantic Gretchin. One of the Boilers seemed to have failed, and another was covered in dials that had exploded, or were spinning wildy. A very large dial, the size of a Shield Drone, filled the centre of the room. It had a giant hand made of cheap iron, pointing a crooked finger at whatever the appropriate readout was. Currently, it was teetering over "TOO MUCH STEEM!". Another one, next to it, was sliding back and forth between "GO FASTA!" and "MORE DAKKA!".
Though he was no Fio, the Shas'Ui knew that if he took out these Boilers, the Gargant would perish.
A scream behind him made Ui'Ukos turn, and he saw Orks and Gretchin trying to battle the flames that were now filling the deck. Any hope of exit was clearly lost now, and the room was filling with smoke. Resigned to his fate, Ui'Ukos raised his stolen Shoota, and emptied the mag into the nearest Boiler. It exploded, firing burning Grots like comets across the room, and belching a solid wall of flame. The order-rail jerked, and fell apart, the condition-dial swinging straight to the big red "UH-OH!!!" on the far right.
The entire Gargant was shaking, and somewhere above the main magazine was cooking off. Chunks of roof came crashing down, bullets and ricochets tore Greenskin and machinery apart. Ui'Ukos dived clear as one of the Boilers broke away, and went rolling through the maze of pipes, demolishing everything in its path.
"Next time," he muttered, "I'll just call in a Manta."
Rant: Ode to our HQ slots by Wargamer
If you're reading this, the Tau'va is dead, or as near to it as it really doesn't matter.
For those not accustomed to my habit of starting my Rants with a key sentence that by rights belongs about five lines lower, let me clarify; I speak not of the Tau, though I notice the local Cadres run screaming at the very mention of the word "spandex" these days... no, I speak of the Tau'va series, comprising Kraken, Final Hour, Harsh Reality and Ancients, plus some other bits that never really took off. Even if I haven't got around to finishing it yet, anyone who actively reads it will know that Shas'Ar'O Tel'Oshi Arva'Shi Li'Sun'yi is no longer with us. The aging and somewhat high-strong female Shas'O, hero of her people and stalward defender against the Tyranids, took a Pulse Pistol and blew her own head off.
So, why is this worth bringing up? Well, two reasons, really. Firstly, it is the acknowledgement that all things must end; specifically, the Tau'va series. The concept of dropping something whilst it's new and fresh, rather than slowly inflicting a death so drawn out and agonising that crucifiction would have been kinder is commonplace amongst the writers and directors in TV and Film, and I have no wish to go down that path.
The second is the fact that, all too often, the heroes win. Whilst we all like to see our best and favourite characters do well, we must all accept that, sooner or later, fate wins out. You can't cheat death, not forever. It is not just the fact that O'Sun'yi died that is significant, however, it is how she died; half-mad from "voices" in her head. Her death may, ultimately, have had some greater purpose, but from the view of the protagonist she commited suicide because she simply couldn't cope. Heroes, by definition, are supposed to die heroically. O'Sun'yi did not.
So, yet again we get to the last paragraph of the Rant, and we've yet to see point and purpose to the bloody thing. Well, this time it's a lesson about not clinging too tightly to your characters, and letting go. Face it, there are only so many times you can bring Archon Drakkit or Chaos Lord Fred onto the battlefield. When it gets to the point where your enemy can recite your wargear, deployment, battle tactics and the excuses you make for why your close-combat monster died to Guardsmen, life is telling you it's time to switch armies.
I'm sure all who know Commander Draken will agree that it is far better he exited on a high-note, becoming a legend amongst our gaming community, rather than being dragged through a mire of unglorious defeats and humiliating executions. No, far better to let a new Captain step forward. That way, if things go well, this upcoming star will make a new and exciting name for himself, expanding both the background and prestige of his parent army...
...if all else fails, the Solitaire could use a new ashtray, and I do like Nova's helmet...
Canoness Alica stood apart from her sisters. Her armour was gleaming white in the mid-day sun with his pristine white blade held at ease by her side. None could have faulted the White Saber, holiest of relics amongst Alica's Order and who only two other warriors had ever wielded the blade in battle.
With ease, Alica gestured to a group of Celestians standing nearby, their Rhino idling beyond that. "Make sure that Palantine Domica knows her place. Your role in this affair is to mop of stragglers and those to try to run the lines. Ensure now reach Entuin. We all know the price of failure."
With a sign, Superior Diane attracted the Canoness' attention. "What is it, Diane?" Alica's tone was warm with equal measure of wisdom to it. "Am I right in assuming that we are amongst the last hope that the clerics of Entuin have of getting the priceless relics safely off world?"
The Superior's question was bold, but highly justified. Canoness Alica had also asked herself that very same question.
"We are, Sister," remarked the Canoness, all expression flowing from her face as her mouth formed the words.
"Then, I'll ensure our Sisters sell their lives for as high of a price as He deems required."
Turning away after forming the sign of the aquila out of respect, Diane turned to her Celestians. "Mount up, today... today we bring death to these vile Tzeentchian witches!"
Alica watched the Celestians mount up within the armoured form of the Rhino, and watched as it took its place amongst the rest of Alica's Sisters.
When she was satisfied that the Celestians would not see her, Alica thundered into the skies, her jump pack carrying her aloft with ease. Dropping low to the ground, Alica passed through some woodland and into a clearing.
Within the clearing, Inquisitor-Lord Holt was waiting.
"Are your Sisters in place?" was the first words uttered by the stern Inquisitor.
Touching ground, Alica gave her report, and with that, the Inquisitor smiled meekly.
At last, Alica brought herself to ask the question which burned in her mind "Are we going to be fighting alone Inquisitor?" her tone having a hard edge to it.
"Mars Aran will be sending his entire 1st Company. Four Terminator squads will engage when the Tzeentchian have engaged your Sisters. Unfortunately, I have little idea of when these reinforcements will arrive."
She noticed the Inquisitor's face harden. She knew that it was unlikely that her Sisters would actually survive the coming conflict.
Turning away from the Inquisitor, Alica heard the stern voice of the Inquisitor demand her to account for her intended actions.
"My Order is duty bound to fore fill their oaths to the Ordo Hereticus, and as such, my Sisters are here fighting this war. But don't expect me to stay here whilst my Sisters are fighting and dying in His name!" boomed the Canoness, her tone clearly intent upon her chosen course.
Holt shrugged, knowing full well that she had her point, and short of executing her, he could do nothing to stop her in this mindset. Holt prayed that the Dark Eldar knew what was coming their way.
Alica dropped from the skies heavily. White Saber flared in all directions, seemingly at once, around the Canoness. Flashes of pure white cascaded amongst the deep blue hues of the Thousand Sons. Her blade struck with impressive power, and one by one, the Thousand Sons she had launched her assault against begun to fell.
Bolt shells whistled around the Canoness, but she cared not. She knew that every single Tzeentchian follower who was busy killing the Canoness was one less trying to kill her Sisters. For what seemed hours, Alica continued to hack, slash and parry the relatively clumsy blows of the rubric Sons, but eventually, she prospered by sheer force of will.
The seemingly never ending tide of Thousand Sons stopped rather abruptly.
Glancing around quickly, Alica saw her flaw; she had left herself open in amidst the broken armoured forms of the Thousand Sons she had ushered from existence.
An instant later, she felt the crack of bones and the sensation of pain lancing across her body. A bolt shell had penetrated deep, striking cleanly between two armoured plates in her finely crafted Adeptus Soritas power armour.
Life seemed to go in slow motion was she glanced down at the bloody ruin of what had been her leg. Blown clean from beneath, she felt herself fall to the ground after what seemed minutes.
Virtually unable to fight, Alica ushered one more miracle of will, and brought herself upright with the aid of the jump pack and her remaining good leg.
Another salvo of bolt shells burst amongst the bodies around her. The torrent of bolt shells was proof against the Canoness' armour once again, and the last thing she saw was the deep purple of the sky turn into black.
Awakening to the stench of disinfectant and the reflective highlights of a metallic operating room, Alica glared at the room around her. Clearly her life was saved, but by whom.
Eventually, the armoured form of a Space Marine Apothecary swam into view, the white of his armour set against the flames painted onto his shoulder pads. “My life?!” gasped the Canoness, clearly pleased to be alive. “We arrived shortly after you passed out, Canoness. Holt made a special command that we save your life and that of your Sisters” granted the Apothecary behind the heavily armoured helmet.
“And your legs have been replaced with bionic replacements” spoke the Apothecary, evidently anticipating her next question...
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