Top Five Tau Threads
Top Five non-Tau Topics this Month
Because interviewing myself isn't... mentally sane (), I asked our forum members to come up with blurbs for me (questions provided by the TO members):
"Ok, if you don't know this dude, you have no business being on this forum. I present unto you our most glorious leader, founder of this finely established website and alround damn good bloke, Mister James Bond.....Otherwise known as Tau Online hisself!!!" - Kangaroo Joe
"You may only know TAU ONLINE as 'that guy who advertises movie and game franchises in his signature' (and consequently the arrogant bloke who has named himself after the site); however, we all know him as our glorious leader and senior patron of THE greatest warhammer 40k forum on the net! This is a glorious toast to the reason we're all here!" - Frogger
"What can we say about Tau Online...
...nothing that won't get us banned, so we'd best get on with the interview!" - Wargamer
(Q) What made you decide to start this site, and did you realise how good and how popular it would become?
A: Erm... well, that was a while ago, and I have the memory of two goldfish... if I'm awake (and it's only past 10 am here). So sorry, but I can't answer.
Nah just joking Well I remember that I used to use the slow 56k-modem internet when possible (when I was about 11, 12), and then my parents got broadband (hence I could use the internet without cutting off our phone line!) I was also, obviously, into Warhammer 40K and moved onto my Tau army at this time - as such I thought it'd be fun to make a website about the new army I had started collecting!
I never actually designed the site with popularity in mind, it was more of just something to do, an excuse to spend a lot of time online! I didn't realise it'd grow to be this good and popular (*Head/ego expands *), as I say I didn't create the website for that purpose. It's cool it's become this successful though!
(Q) Which armies do you collect, how big are they and how long has it taken to accumulate them?
A: My first 40K army was an Eldar one, it grown to over 3,000 points and it taken my around two years to collect it. I remember for one of my Birthday presents I went out and spent most of my money on over 1,000 point's worth... however then I lost the motivation to paint any of it... a pretty stupid move, really, although I'm gonna use relatively young age as an excuse
Then the Tau race was released, and I moved onto that pretty quickly. I promised to myself, however, that I'd only buy a box at a time and ensure I actually painted it. With schoolwork and other real life engagements, however, the development of this army has been slower than the actual Tau races' growth! I currently have just under 2,000 points worth of Tau.
Also, due to not using it, I sold my Eldar army a week ago. So now I only have the Tau army to concentrate on (which I did anyway - the Eldar one was just gathering dust...)
(Q) Any advice for the rest of the community?
A: I know it's easier said than done, but when things start getting heated always try to take a step back, take a deep breathe and try to act maturely and as objectively as possible. Arguing with other members who frequent the same board(s) as you, or simply arguing in general, can make your forum experience much less fun, so do try to sort out arguments. (The same goes for real life!)
(Q) Why do you think Tau Online became so popular?
A: False pretenses, blackmail, extortion and lots of cookies. Oh, seriously? Well, the website (although not a place our members tends to visit as much as the forums) had always had a lot of good, helpful information with a friendly community only a click away. I think that with this continuing to grow (bombard me with submissions!!! ) Tau Online will continue to grow more popular. I think that when guests come to our website (or see our community), they see lots of information that draws them in.
(Q) Have you ever visited the U.S.?
A: Yes, thrice. Twice for the usual tourist stuff (i.e. the theme parks ) and once for a cruise around the Caribbean. The people, food and sights are really great, I enjoyed all three trips there.
(Q) What do you hope to do as a career when you finish school?
A: Accountancy. Something in that field, or related to it, I'm not 100% sure which field of it, although I've always liked that sort of thing.
(Q) How does it feel to be Welsh?
A: Well.. I've lived in Wales for most of my life, but I was born in England and my family is half Welsh, half English. It's sort of confusing.. although I take the easy way out and count myself as British! It's cool to be living in Wales though, naturally there's things I don't like, although it seems a friendly place to be and the Welsh language can be cool to confuse people when on holiday!
(Q) How fun was it to have the forums hacked by those "Iranians"?
A: Brilliant. A very riveting experience. And funny, too. Nah, it was annoying, although it was cleared up fairly quickly by my host, Elixant, which was a good thing.
(Q) From your recent Avatar, you seem to be a James Bond fan... who, in your opinion, is the best 007?
A: I'd actually go for a draw between Daniel Craig (granted he's only been in one of the films) and Sean Connery (a classic!). They both offer something different to the films IMO, and I think they both fulfilled their roles well.
(Q) How many sites have you made besides TO, and what were they?
A: Before Tau Online there was actually "Eldar Freak's website", it sucked, to cut things short :-P I've also created a site called Gamer's Place (a console-gaming website), a graphics design site (before I realised I had no design skill and so abandoned it)... and I'm also going to be releasing a jokes website I've been working on fairly soon. I think that's it... Tau Online is the only website I've kept working at over the years.
(Q) What are your future plans for the site? Any visions, ideas or secret evil schemes you wish to mention? Do you think it will grow beyond a Tau-specific board? Any hopes to one day cater to more than just mainly 40k and Tau specifically, but also other War games, with more content spanning across them, or is this more of a "I'll go with the natural growth" thing? (multiple questions merged!)
A: I don't really have anything specific in mind... I'll probably just go with the natural growth, and let the members (who generally have better ideas than me!) lend a helping hand in deciding where this site goes.
Having said that, I'm not too sure that I'd like to expand the website beyond 40K (or at least Games Workshop stuff), and I've always favoured the idea of concentrating on a specific area of 40K (i.e. Tau, and branching out from there), compared to creating a broad 40K site. Obviously this may change in the future, although currently I'm thinking that sticking to a more specific target audience will help to keep a tighter community (even if we branch out, like we're doing, to include non-Tau stuff).
Fluff: Ravenant by Wargamer
10-12 Lar'Shi Cadre was going in as hot as it came. The Orca was shaking violently, its stabilisers blown off by enemy fire and one engine failing.
The Tau within wasted no time bailing from their stricken craft. The last out alive was Shas'La T'olku Ukos. An enemy super-heavy opened fire on the Orca a moment later, and the vessel was turned inside out by a searing blast of black light that sucked at the eyes. A heartbeat later, and it was gone. No debris, no corpses, explosion... the Orca had simply ceased to exist.
Ahead of them, like some murderous festive bauble, the holofield of an Eldar Titan flickered and danced as the machine duelled with the Tau tanks. Two beams of energy ripped a Scorpionfish to pieces, and there was a harsh snap as it crushed a Kroot Shaper beneath its feet. The Cadre leader, El'Mont'ka, took aim and fired a full spread of missiles at the machine. The contrails vanished into the shimmering blur, and a detonation followed. The Holofield fell, and the Tau saw the Titan clearly for the first time. The machine leapt, span in mid-air like some exotic dancer, and blew the port wing of a Manta. Barely touching the ground, it leapt a gain, this time raking Lar'Shi Cadre, and taking revenge on the Shas'El, who didn't even have time to scream.
In the wake of the dancing Titan, the Aspect Warriors of the Eldar appeared. La'Ukos was almost glad to see them; at least now he had a foe he could fight. Taking aim, he killed the first with a perfect headshot, and took another down with a double-tap to the chest. The rest of his squad opened fire as the retaliation began, and thousands of monomolecular disks shrieked through the air. Tau and Dire Avenger alike scrambled for cover, with only the Crisis Suits able to wade in without fear. Plasma and missile drove the Eldar back, only for another attack to come from the rear, and assault the Broadside team, who had been desperately trying to kill the Ravenant.
The world slowed, and both sides stopped fighting. La'Ukos felt the death of the titan; the shockwave threw him thirty feet backwards. When he looked up, he saw five Eldar, their blades slick with the blood of the Broadside Pilots, rushing towards their toppled war machine. La'Ukos took aim and killed one of the Banshees, drawing them towards him. He'd been fighting for less than ten minutes, and the death-toll was already horrific... but if the Eldar wanted that Titan back, they'd take it over his dead hide.
Hobby: Basing by JĐ
If you model is is a metal one with the slot in the base for the tag to sit in, remove the model from the base to make it easier to apply the glue and paint. If your model is plastic then you'll have to work around it.
- Cover the top of the base in a thin layer of PVA glue leaving the rims of the base clean. Pour some thin-ish sand over the top of the glue and wait for it to dry. If your model was metal place it back in the slot, when the glue is dry, to work out where areas of the base a clear of the model for the next step, then remove it again for the next step.
- Using a small amount of super glue dot maybe 1 or 2 areas on the base depending on size and available space. On this glue place some small (really small) pebbles or rocks (available in most terrain kits). Your base is now ready but it would look better painted and flocked.
These all follow the same basic steps but colour and amount may change between styles.
Earthy/ Jungle bases-
- Cover the base in a top coat of Dark flesh
- Dry brush Bestial brown on top of this reasonably heavy.
- Do a light drybrush of Bronzed flesh and your dirt ground is done.
note- More flock will be required for a jungle base then an earthy base
Urban or deathworld bases-
- Base coat of Chaos Black
- Heavy drybrush of Shadow or codex grey
note- shadow grey is more for deathworld bases then urban ones
- Lighter drybrush of fortress grey. With this your urban base is done
note- urban bases don't require flocking
- For deathworld do a highlight drybrush of skull white over the top.
- Base of Codex grey
- Heavy drybrush of skull white
- Light drybrush of fortress grey
note- You can change the fortress grey and skull white around for differing effects
- Snow bases don't require flocking but the odd one with some flock or static grass looks good
Grassy highland bases
- Base coat of Goblin green
- Heavy drybrush of snot green
- High light drybrush scorpion green
An easy way to flock a base is to do the same thing as with the stones before painting, apply a little glue then place some flock or static grass on the glue. After this your base should be done unless you want some other extras like lichen or scrap metal pieces (explain later on). Static grass looks good on any base even a snow one. Just don't go over the top with snow and urban bases. 1 or 2 bases per squad of 5-10 looks great.
Lichen is an easy way to represent plants and the like. Put a little glue down and take a small piece of lichen and push it onto the glue. Red and Yellow lichen works well for deathworld bases and greens work for jungle or highland bases.
Scrap metals and bits.
Scrap metal is easy to make and there are a couple of methods.
Take some sort of netting (the bags oranges come in are good) and cut some small pieces out of it. Spray (at least 14-20" away) the pieces with a darkish sliver (or paint it bolt-gun metal) and then drybrush over with some tin bitz or brazen brass.
A second way is to take some scrap sprue and cut it into shape of poles or scratched metal studs or any other item you can think of. Paint it as described above then glue it into place. Don't go overboard with the metal unless your bases are set in a scrap yard.
Rant: The Rant to End All Rants by Wargamer
Ladies and gentlemen, here's the big one. This has got to be the oldest grudge against 40K I have... and this, combined with my "anti-Cadian" viewpoint, has become legendary across the internet. Brace yourselves...
Why I hate Necrons
This one is going to get complicated. I loved Necrons back in the days when they were mysterious piratical raiders, and I like the idea of them waging an ancient war against the Eldar in the dawn of time (it's the Old Ones element of that particular part of Necron Canon I hate, but we'll come back to that another time). No, my problems start with the Necrons when the buggers woke up.
Let's start with the tabletop design concepts... they're a Marine Army. They're Arnie-Marines, they're yet another sodding army with standard toughness and gun strength. Wow... as if we didn't already have 2/3rds of 40K players fielding an army like that, GW go and make another one. I'm sorry, Necron Players, I really am... but of all the things Necrons could have been, did they really have to be another Marine knock-off?
Now, where to go for next... how about their background? Fundamentally, the Necrons are a "We've been here forever, and behind everything" race... which irks me greatly, because that mindset has come out of nowhere.
Now the Tau are a race done well. I've followed the Tau since their appearance in that insignificant eastern spiral-arm of the Segmentum Obscurus, and I'm still not entirely sure what to make of them. However, the key point was that, up until recent advancements in their fluff, there was little doubt that if any one race decided the Tau had to check-out, they would be extinct within a year. Now I'm not so sure... but the point is the Tau evolved into that position. We've seen every advance, we've seen how they've gone from a race who couldn't shoot down a skip with engines (commonly known as an Ork Kill Kroozer) to a race that can content, albeit on a local scale, with anything the galaxy can throw at it.
Tau started small, and are growing. Necrons started big, and expected everyone to smile and accept it.
Bollocks to that. Every other race had to earn their place in the 41st Millennium, why should Necrons be exempt?
Next up is the fact the Necrons, particularly after their release, seemed to be behind every bloody thing in the galaxy; C'tan control the Tyranids, C'tan made the Tau, C'tan led Abaddon to Drachn'yen, Dragon is the Omnissiah... bloody hell, why don't they call it C'tan-hammer and be done with it?
Now I'm sure by now someone is pointing fingers at the Eldar. Well, don't do that. The first reason is they'll remove said fingers with a Witchblade, followed swiftly by your head, and the second reason is that Eldar deserve to play grand manipulator, Necrons do not.
Why to Eldar deserve it? Here's why; they're dying.
If we focus primarily on the Craftworlders, and possibly some Exodites and Eldritch Raiders, the Eldar are in a bad way. The reason we ignore the Harlequin and Dark Eldar is they don't follow this whole "rebuilding" thing, so don't generally have grand century-spanning schemes; one bunch kills Chaos, the other takes slaves. Thus only the three remaining are interested in saving and rebuilding the Eldar race in the manner I'm about to discuss.
The Eldar are dying. Despite everything they do, despite every victory, every success, they are dying. I wouldn't be surprised if there are more Tau in the galaxy than Craftworld Eldar. Odds are that if you simply sat around and waited long enough, the Eldar would become extinct of their own accord; lobbing shells at them just speeds things along.
Thus, the Eldar cannot fight in conventional wars. Fortunately, they don't need to. The Eldar can pick and choose their fights, and manipulate the strands of fate to favour themselves. This is why the Eldar always seem to be behind things; they probably are, and if they couldn't do this, they'd have died out long ago.
Now the Necrons... these guys are effectively infinite in number. Sure, there are only, theoretically, a limited number of Tomb Worlds... but theoretically there's only so many Tyranids in the galaxy, or only so many Orks, or only a million Imperial Worlds... but we still consider all these races effectively infinite.
Even if you killed the Deceiver and the Nightbringer, even if you blew up every Necron Tomb, and wiped out every Necron fleet, there's always the possibility there's another Tomb buried somewhere, or another Fleet lurking in the void between stars. We don't even know for sure if blowing up a Tomb World / Tombship will "destroy" the Necrons, or if they simply vanish back to the nearest suitable crypt.
You can't pull that with the Eldar. There are no "hidden" Craftworlders, waiting for just the right moment to appear. All Craftworlds that will ever exist do exist now, and their numbers are falling with every passing year. Games Workshop could give us information on a hundred Craftworlds tomorrow, but it would change nothing... whereas if they awakened a hundred Necron Tombs, that's a hundred more Tombs that have appeared from nowhere, bolstering the Necron legion.
Necrons do not need to have this kind of grand scheme manipulation, and having it infringes on the uniqueness of the Eldar.
Speaking of which... what is it the Necrons bring to the table? Nothing; they've just leapt in and stolen from others. As I've already said, they're a Marine-clone army, they're infringing on the "Grand Scheme" position of the Eldar, they "Out-Tech" the Tau (which is all they have), they're effectively Legion (Tyranids bit), and they want to be the Ultimate Evil (Chaos). Necrons give us nothing unique, they just redo what already exists in different ways.
Now you probably think by now I'd want Necrons wiped from the game... well, I don't.
What I want for the Necron race is for them to take a bloody back-burner. I'm tired of them being behind everything, being the ultimate evil, being above and beyond every bloody rule and guideline you care to name... in short, I want them to go back to being the race that I loved; mysterious raiders that struck without clear purpose or warning. I actually like their Gothic fleet (though it needs fixing so it isn't so bloody anti-Eldar), I like some of their Epic stuff too... it's just when they turn up on the 40K table, or in fluff, they need fixing.
Maybe if GW stopped trying to make the Necrons outdo everyone at everything, and just made them a unique and interesting race, we'd actually get somewhere...
...until then, we're stuck with legions of the Governator, and Arnie doesn't belong in 40K.
Continued from last month's issue.
'I don't hear anything...' hissed Parkin.
'Well it got you to shut up, didn't it!'
Something subtly shifted, the shadows seemed to swirl, and then the stillness settled again.
'What was that?'
No-one was moving. Everyone could tell there was something different, but no-one would admit it, because they couldn't put their finger on it was and didn't want to be seen as jumping at shadows. Slowly the freeze broke. One of the newest recruits began to shift round the edge of the room, away from the door, and hissed, 'It's in here with us, isn't it?'
Everyone else in the room followed suit, edging slowly away from the door so as not to startle whatever it was that had crept in. Eventually the whole squad was clustered in the corner of the store room and trembling with anticipation. Then Parkin just collapsed. He just slumped to the floor, eyes rolling, tongue lolling horrifically. There was a moment of stunned silence, then suddenly the new recruit had unsheathed a power sabre and shot Harrison through the head, point blank, with a bolt pistol. As shards of skull scattered and were still falling, three more men were stabbed and another shot in the chest.
The Private swirled and hacked and blasted his way through the rest of the squadron. All the while he was laughing at their screams and moaning with a grotesque ecstasy in terrible harmony with their dying wails.
After clearing up the remains of the squadron, the figure of the new recruit relaxed, and bedan to shift. It's features rearranged, it's physique grew and strengthened and it's uniform went from standard Imperial Guard to skin-tight black poly-form. By the time it left the room, licking it's blade clean and savoring both the taste of blood and the feel of the cold metal against its tongue, it was once again in it's most natural form. A fallen Callidus assassin, stamped all over with the mark of Slaanesh, body and soul. Or what was left of it.
Swiftly and silently the creature (both male, female and neither after the combined mutation offered by Imperial surgery and the gifts of it's god) moved off down the corridor in search of fresh play mates. It was invisible even before reaching the first corner.
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