Helmet Dilemma

This Article was written by:
Member Unknown

Article Writer's Avatar
No Comments View rating View Rating [Report to Mod] Report to Librarian
Elvar Ingimundarson wrote this.
High Marshal Helbrecht stood up and called the meeting to order by hitting the conference table with his power sword (and as a result rapidly turning the table into flying splinters). "That's the third table this week" a tech priest whispered to an administorum agent. "Indeed, his table smashing fetish has already caused a 0.0007 increase in expenses for this station, that increase could have catastrophic results for the administorium budget in this sector". The agent whispered back. High Marshal Helbrecht then addressed the meeting "As you all know, this is the fifth meeting we have for the current issue which is: why do 93% of space marines die from head injuries. Can it be that the head is somehow the weak point of the space marines? As you remember from our third meeting we have discovered this is because space marines don't use their helmets. Techpriest Willan and Administorum officer Pots will now explain the steps they have taken to solve the problem". "Thank you High Marshal" the tech priest said. "Well gentlemen I am glad to announce that Pots and I have solved the problem. We have tried many different approaches and found the right one. Our test group were High Marshals Helbrecht's personal guard. As you all know space marines are issued with a helmet so we decided to put instructions for helm use in the Space marine combat manual. However this seemed to have no effect. We soon discovered that this was because the Combat manual was mainly used as toilet paper. But soon we found the solution, which was bright orange paint. Using this paint we painted the instructions:
'THIS THING GOES ON YOUR HEAD.'
on their helmets. However when we first tried this new method things turned ugly; half of the space marines put their helmets on the reverse way, and when they didn't see anything they started screaming that they were under attack by the demons of darkness. This caused a massive outbreak of panic among all the space marines and caused them to be afraid of their helmets, but we were quick to fix this by painting new instructions on the helmets, the new instructions were as following:
'THIS HELMET.HELMET GOOD.HELMET GO ON HEAD.THIS SIDE FORWARD.'
Almost all the space marines were able to follow these basic instructions. And that, gentleman, is how we solved the helmet dilemma".

The Author's notes

I first got the idea for this short story when I was reading White Dwarf magazine issue 312. In the magazine there was an article about the Black templar chapter. In the article there were some pictures of the Black templars and it caught my attention that more than half of the models didn't have helmets. After that I started to think how stupid it is to wear some high tech power armour and not wear the helmet. The helmet dilemma was later born from those thoughts.
Elvar Ingimundarson | Iceland 07.02.2006.
 




No comments

Other Content

All the content currently available!
Showing page 1 of 19 pages
[Next] [Last Page]
Army: Category: View:
ArticleAuthorDate AddedRatingCommentsViews
Ork Skullhamma Battlefortress "Wartanker"Khanaris7th Jun 10Current rating for this item: 4.5 stars
4.5 stars
-41874
Tau PiranhaOggy7th Jun 10Current rating for this item: 3 stars
3 stars
-22019
Sa'Cea XV84 Shas'el De'mure (BATTLESUIT COMMANDER)BlairH19th Apr 10Current rating for this item: 4.5 stars
4.5 stars
-18406
Multiple Assaults And Youcrazyguy83210th Apr 10Current rating for this item: 4.5 stars
4.5 stars
-10186
The Art of Vengeance: Using Sternguard RoundsWarpspiderman1st Apr 10Current rating for this item: 4 stars
4 stars
111525
Blood Angels Codex Review/Thoughtscrazyguy83213th Mar 10Current rating for this item: 4.5 stars
4.5 stars
-22939
Ork Army List TacticaEasyification7th Mar 10Current rating for this item: 4 stars
4 stars
-15873
Urban BasesMurchankite9th Feb 10Current rating for this item: 5 stars
5 stars
-26869
Plastic Grey Knight TerminatorsGreyDeath30th Jan 10Current rating for this item: 4.5 stars
4.5 stars
129986
Slaaneshi Keeper of SecretsSILK20th Jan 10Current rating for this item: 4.5 stars
4.5 stars
-9894
Chaotic Tactica - Chaos LordsSILK6th Jan 10Current rating for this item: 5 stars
5 stars
-9526
The Wolfwing - TacticaEasyification3rd Jan 10Current rating for this item: 5 stars
5 stars
-11699
Daemonettes, anyone?SILK1st Jan 10Current rating for this item: 4.5 stars
4.5 stars
-9913
Using Green StuffAunny23rd Dec 09Current rating for this item: 3.5 stars
3.5 stars
-12237
Ruined BuildingCar'Lel23rd Dec 09Current rating for this item: Not rated
Not rated
-11470
Slaanesh Daemon PrinceAlabaster23rd Dec 09Current rating for this item: 3 stars
3 stars
-30852
A Guide to Playing 40K FasterThor{DoH}21st Dec 09Current rating for this item: 4.5 stars
4.5 stars
-9255
Seeking Alternatives - Constructing a List that Works for Youxx21st Dec 09Current rating for this item: Not rated
Not rated
-13585
Arnell's Ascendancy [Novel length, Part 4]Tyross (FT)20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: Not rated
Not rated
-8576
Dark Angels Verses Ulthwe [Battle Report and anti-wraithlord tactica]Tyross (FT)20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: 2 stars
2 stars
-12887
Enemies Of Ancient EldarRezzy20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: 5 stars
5 stars
-12783
Starting A Tau ArmyTau Online20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: Not rated
Not rated
-19599
Eldar Tactica: Methods of AttackJUST_LIKE_NAM!!!20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: Not rated
Not rated
-12610
Daemonhunters Tactica: Know Thy SelfTyross (FT)20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: Not rated
Not rated
-10414
Chaos Versus EldarTyross (FT)20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: Not rated
Not rated
-10518
Assessment of the Tau EmpireWargamer20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: 2.5 stars
2.5 stars
-14807
Commander FarsightOxiotle20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: Not rated
Not rated
-14383
Eldar Versus KhorneTau-killer20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: Not rated
Not rated
-8773
Conversion Guide: Coverting a Valkyrie to a Vendetta Aunny20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: 4 stars
4 stars
-25793
Tau'Va Tel'OshiWargamer20th Dec 09Current rating for this item: 1 stars
1 stars
134815
Showing page 1 of 19 pages
[Next] [Last Page]

TauOnline.org is completely unofficial and is in no way endorsed by Games Workshop Limited.