Codex: Ork Angels

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If there's one thing I love, it's all those whacky variant armies Space Marine players get.

If there's one thing I love even more, it's the look on their face when someone else can do it too...


Today, Masta Mek Grozkrugga presents 104% legal rules (Orks can't add up) that allow you to field all manner of whacky armies. I'm sure other people have thought of these already, and as such any who feel I'm stealing their ideas can step forward, and get their 'ead kicked in until they change their minds, or pass out. Ah, Orkish politics, how we love your subtle machinations...


Ravensquig:
Who Are Dey? Ravensquig armies are much like Ravenwing, only better in every way (obviously!). The emphasis is in bikes, fast stuff, and... err... bikes.

Wots Dat Den? Ravensquigs are Squigs, but with wings. They're really fast (probably), and so Ravensquig armies like to be fast too. Since Ravensquigs who have big, 'eavy stuff tied to them tend to flap around uselessly (though that is really funny!), Ravensquig armies have adopted the same "No 'eavy stuff!" mindset, and scream along with only the fastest and funnest bits of gear they can find!

How'd we do it? In order to field Ravensquig, you need to adhere to some fairly tight limitations. The "pure" Ravenwing has but four elements; the Master, Bikes, Attack Bikes and Land Speeders. With that in mind, the Ravensquig army is built to mirror these traits.
The following limitations apply to Ravensquig:
  • The army must be led by Wazdakka Gutsmek (Masta of Da Ravensquig).
  • You may take a Warboss (on Bike) or a Big Mek (on Bike) as your second HQ choices.
  • Only Nob Bikers may be taken as Elites.
  • Only Warbikers may be taken as Troops.
  • Warbuggies/Trakks/Scorchas and Deffkoptas are the only Elites available.
  • You may not field any other units (so no Heavy Support!).

Deffwind:
Who Are Dey? Deffwind are an army for people who like big, tuff, tanky type people. Much like the "Pure" Deathwing armies of the Space Marines, Deffwind seeks to crump anything that isn't in 2+ armour, and they started on their own lads!

Wots Dat Den? Deffwind armies get their name from the traditional Ol' Skungbung's Squig Vindaloo Night down at the local bar. Whilst a source of much fun and hilarity, inevitably some drunken Warboss would leave his keys in the pub, and thus be left stood beside his shiny new Kustom Wheelz looking a burke. Alas, the sheer stench of the flatulence from all the Vindaloo meant that only the toughest of Orks could enter; even a normal Nob would pass out from the smell! Thus, kitted out with Mega Armour and Adamantium Nosepegs, the Deffwind Mobs would enter these forsaken places, rescue the keys, and race away in style.

Of course, all that shiny Gubbinz is great for stomping people on the battlefield as well.

How'd we do it? Deffwind armies are limited to the following units:
  • The army must contain two Mega Armoured Warbosses. One of these may be Ghazghkull Thraka.
  • You must take two Meganobz units as Troops. You may have 0-3 additional Meganobz units as Elites.
  • You may not take any Fast Attack units (too flimsy!)
  • You may only take Battlewagons and Deff Dreads as Heavy Support.
Necrorks:
Who Are Dey? Necrorks are proof that if anyone can do it, Orks can do it better! Whilst some might claim that Necrons are tougher than Orks (yeah, right!), there's no denying you can get a lot more Orks than you can Necrons! The result is an army that doesn't take a hint, or directions, or any notice of oncoming traffic...

Wots Dat Den? Necrorks are an army of robotic warriors. Once they were like normal Orks, but after a long and terrible war, they were all too badly injured to run away when Mad Dok Grotsnik showed up, and the next morning they all woke up with Cybork Bodies, and Squig Brain Transplants. Now a former shadow of there mere selves, the Necrorks continue to fight at the command of their Creator... or rather, they would if the Squig Brain Transplant didn't give them the mental capacity of a cabbage. As it happens, Grotsnik just sort of hopes they all meander into a battlefield, and happen to kill something.

How'd we do it? Apply the following rules to your army:
  • The army must include the Necrork Lord, Mad Dok Grotsnik.
  • Everyone who can must take a Cybork Body. For those not paying attention, here's a list: Warboss, Big Mek, Nobs, Meganobs, Burna Boyz, Tankbustas, Lootas, Kommandos, Boyz, Gretchin (yes! Really!), Deff Koptas and Flash Gitz.
  • You may not include Stormboyz, Warbikers, Warbuggies/Trukks/Scorchas, Killa Kans or Battlewagons in the army (having a Squig Brain makes standing up hard, let alone flying / driving one of those things!).
  • You may not include Big Gunz; the Squig Brained Dreadnought stomped them all.
  • You may include one Squig Brained Dreadnought. This is a Deff Dread, but it's got a Squig piloting it. Oh dear...
  • You may not include Weirdboyz; Squig Brained Weirdboyz tend to undergo catastrophic 'Eadbanging the moment they're released!
  • you may include Looted Wagons. They must have a Boomgun.
For the purposes of "Propa Orky Katalogin", here are the correct terms for each unit in the Necrork Army:

Grotsnik = Da' Cuttin' (or "Da Decieva", because he promised it wouldn't 'urt!).
Warboss = Necrork Warlord.
Big Mek = Da Uvver Necrork Warlord.
Nobz = Immortalz.
Meganobz = Bigga Immortalz.
Burnas = Pyre'highers
Tankbustas = 'Eavy Destroyas.
Lootas = Destroyas.
Kommandos = Flayin' Gitz.
Boyz = Worrias.
Grotz = Scab Swarms.
Deff Koptas = Wraifs.
Flash Gitz = Err... More Destroyas. Shiny ones.
Looted Vehicles = Da Monolift.
Squig Brained Dreadnought = Run! It's comin' dis way!




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